He'll Never Love You Like I Can
by cool-nick-miller
Summary: So, let's imagine: At the end of Season 5 Sam DIDN'T fall in love with his best friend Diane, but he DID propose to Jess. And she said yes. Reagan DIDN'T show up for the Schmece wedding. She met someone else and never returned. As he watches Jess agree to marry another man, Nick realises what he's about to lose forever. *I don't own anything relating to New Girl*
1. Chapter 1

"Exit Wounds"

'And I hurt so bad, that I search my skin/For the entry point, where love went in/And ricocheted and bounced around/And left a hole when you walked out, yeah/I'm falling through the doors of the emergency room/Can anybody help me with these exit wounds?/I don't know how much more love this heart can lose/And I'm dying, dying from these exit wounds'

Nick's phone beeped unexpectedly just as dinner was ending and he hadn't been expecting it to be from Reagan. He hadn't had much contact with her at all since he'd asked her to Schmidt's wedding, and he'd started to come to the realisation that what they had was just some silly little summer fling. Heat of the moment and borne probably from the ache he had at the absence of one Jessica Day. Still, he wouldn't lie, he did smart slightly as he read the message informing him that she definitely couldn't make it and breaking the news that she'd met someone new at work. A boyfriend. He didn't really know why she was apologising to him...they'd never even slept together...they weren't 'anything' to end. But the suggestion of an impromptu game of True American did wonders for his mood, perhaps not so much his liver.

When all was won, or lost, or disintegrated by the lava on the floor, it was time for everyone to hit the hay. Tomorrow was the big day. Schmidt and Cece...Cece and Schmidt. Getting married. Wow. It still blew Nick's mind when he thought about it. After all the crap Schmidt put her through with Elizabeth, Cece still loved that goofball enough to marry him. He stumbled at the first hurdle with Jess, they couldn't even make it through a simple argument about the made up future without breaking up. It still confused him how things had snowballed so fast with them that day, but once they'd made the decision there was no going back. Having spent a lot of time with her in the weeks leading up to this point in their Best Man and Maid of Honour roles, Nick was really struggling to understand why they'd never backslid. Not even once. Their chemistry was undeniably still there. More subtle now, sure, but the jokes still bounced freely, touches shared easily without a second thought, and he was sure... _sure_...that she held his gaze for a few seconds more than was deemed 'friendly' on several occasions. Maybe one day they'd find their way back to one another.

As Sam was preparing to leave, Jess passed him his jacket and froze when a ring box fell on the floor in front of everyone. They all stood still and shared knowing looks across Jess's head as she reached down to pick it up.

"Hey, Sam...um...what's this?" She asked, already knowing the answer and feeling butterflies in her stomach.

He creased his face that his secret was out. The ring he'd been keeping safe was now on full display for all to see. He sighed and gave her a small smile.

"Well...I wasn't going to do this here, or now...you know, I'm not looking to steal anyone's thunder or anything...but, seeing as I've been discovered - well, I guess there's no time like the present!"

He dropped to the floor and held out his hands to hers "Jess, will you marry me?"

She stared at him in silence and glanced to Cece for guidance. What was happening?!

"Jess?" Sam laughed, a little nervously when she didn't answer him.

"Yes!" She said with a slightly bewildered look in her eye as she caught Nick's gaze. Schmidt, Winston and Cece piled in with hugs and screeches of congratulations before Jess could see the colour drain from Nick's face. Before she could see the light go out in his eyes. Before his world came crashing down around him as he saw the only woman he'd ever truly loved promise her life to another man.

He called out 'Congratulations!' even though he nearly choked on the word, and slapped Sam on the shoulder a couple of times. Reaching over to Jess, he pulled her in for a hug. He squeezed tighter than he'd meant to, but he couldn't help it. Excusing himself, he left to go to bed, suddenly needing to be alone. Nick closed the door behind him and locked it. Clenching his fists he walked to the bed before sitting heavily on the edge as his knees buckled beneath him. He buried his face in his hands and cried. Heaving sobs that wracked his body as two years worth of hidden emotions bubbled to the surface from deep within his soul and engulfed him.


	2. Chapter 2

"Happier"

'Ain't nobody hurt you like I hurt you/But ain't nobody need you like I do/I know that there's others that deserve you/But my darling I am still in love with you/But I guess you look happier, you do/My friends told me one day I'll feel it too/I could try to smile to hide the truth/But I know I was happier with you...'

Not long after the engagement, Jess broke the news to the guys that she'd be moving in with Sam and leaving the loft. It seemed only right seeing as they were going to be starting their married lives together that they were under the same roof. She cried on her last night there, hugging all her boys individually and giving them a little goodbye talk. When she reached Nick, her tears somehow seemed to come faster and fall harder. She wrapped one arm around his waist and the other around his neck, pulling him in close where the scent of her hair made his eyes close involuntarily. She had no goodbye talk for him. There were at once all too many things she needed to say, yet no words to express them with. She sniffed back tears before whispering in his ear as she pulled away "I'm sorry..."

Cece had laid claim to Jess's room for storage whilst she and Schmidt were still looking for a place of their own. Which was nice, because it meant there were lots of little Jess reminders around the loft still. And she came over a lot to see them. More so lately with all the wedding planning.

But it wasn't the same.

Nick missed her.

He missed seeing her face every morning, and hearing her singing, and watching her laugh at Winston's stupid jokes.

One evening, Nick came home to hear Jess in her old room with Cece. His heart fluttered at the sound of her voice and he found himself at her bedroom door to see them practicing her hair and make-up for the big day in just a few weeks time. Things had moved quicker than he had anticipated, apparently Sam didn't see the point in long, drawn out engagements.

Of course he didn't.

Jess looked up and saw him watching her wistfully as she held her locks up in a messy bun.

"Hey, Nick-Nack!" she beamed "we're just trying to figure out how I should wear my hair for the wedding."

His stomach lurched every time he heard her use that word.

"Cece and I think it looks best up, like this..." She turned to him and he could have cried at how beautiful she looked. All made up, with a few loose brown curls framing her face as the rest was bundled on top of her head. He swallowed hard and nodded.

"...but Sam thinks it looks better down. I can't decide! I'm not sure anymore - what do you think, Nick?" her blue eyes were bright and staring right at him.

Nick gave a little smile to her and cocked his head to the side before responding

"I think you should go with whatever makes you happier, Jess"

Nick had become well adept at hiding his true feelings. His face and body would join in with the others, celebrating and contributing to the excited buzz among his friends whenever wedding talk like this came up, but his mind and heart were slowly breaking. Fragmenting piece by piece as he came closer to losing Jess forever.


	3. Chapter 3

"He'll Never Love You Like I Can"

'He could be a stranger you gave a second glance/He could be a trophy of a one night stand/He could have your humour, but I don't understand/'Cause he'll never love you like I can, can, can/Why are you looking down all the wrong roads/When mine is the heart and the salt of the soul/There may be lovers who hold out their hands/But they'll never love you like I can, can, can...'

The day before the wedding, Nick's phone rang. He couldn't answer as he was working, but felt it vibrating again a second and third time so excused himself and hid in the bathroom to check his voicemail.

It was from Jess.

"Hey, Nick...it's me, Jess...but you probably figured that already as you'll have seen the missed calls from my number on your phone...but, hey!" she sounded nervy, anxious. This was unusual for her and it made his brow furrow in concern.

"So, I'm at the hotel. Everything's being set up for tomorrow and I'm up here by myself and...I don't know...I can't stop thinking about how massive this all is. Like, how _final_ this is, you know?"

 _Yes_

"...I think I might be freaking out - do you think I'm freaking out?"

 _Also, Yes._

"If you get this, please call me. Please. I can't get hold of Cece - probably just busy with maid of honour stuff I'm sure. And I can't get hold of Sam...I don't know why I'm burdening you with this, I'm sorry...but...I could really use someone here right now. Ok. Ok, Bye..."

The second his shift finished, Nick hopped in his car and drove straight to her. Knocking on the door, his palms became sweaty and he suddenly felt as nervous and anxious as Jess had sounded earlier. She flung the door open and her face lit up at the sight of him.

"You came!"

"Of course I did" he said, stepping inside and trying desperately to ignore her wedding dress hung up on the wardrobe "you needed me, Jess. So I'm here."

"Nick, I am _freaking_ out. Help me..." Her eyes fell to the ground she slumped on a footstool nearby.

"I'm not sure what I'm doing" she whispered, waving her arms at all the wedding paraphernalia in the room "Any of this. It's scary as hell and...and the more I think about it, the more I'm just not sure..."

"Woah, Jess. Think about what you're saying right now. Are you saying you wanna call it off?" Nick was doing his best not to let it show that hearing her say those words was music to his ears. He needed to be here for her, not think about his own agenda. Push the feelings aside, Miller. Just like always.

"I don't know, Nick. But something just feels off, deep inside of me and I can't shake it. Everyone says when you find the person you're going to spend the rest of your life with that you just know...you know?"

 _I know_

Nick nodded silently

"Well I _don't_ know! I needed to see you, because you understand me better than anyone else ever has, and I really need your help, Nick. I'm about the make the biggest promise of my life to someone which, not all that long ago, I thought I would one day be making to you."

Her eyes glistened as she spoke and his chest tightened when he heard her words. _She'd thought about marrying him?_

"Tell me, please...why do I feel like this? Why am I doubting myself?"

She looked up at him expectantly but he couldn't answer, instead shaking his head slightly.

"What do you think, Nick?" Jess pressed, desperate for him to answer.

He realised then, she didn't really ask him here for his advice. She didn't want his reassurance that all was well and she was just having last minute jitters.

She was giving him one last chance.

One last opportunity to stop this thing before she was someone else's girl for good.

Nick opened his mouth to speak but couldn't. Could he still really not tell her how he felt, after all this time? He wanted to so badly, but it would mean opening himself up more than he ever had before and he wasn't sure he was prepared for that. He looked at her, palms raised and gives a little shrug "I...I don't know..."

 _Helpful_.

Jess nods sadly and stands to walk away. He'd seen that look on her face before - disappointment. He still couldn't give her what she wanted. She was walking away and this time it really would be for good. He closed his and his heart pounded in his chest. Suddenly he leapt forward, grabbed her by the elbow and spun her round to face him.

"I think you're making a mistake!" blurts Nick

Her mouth dropping open, Jess was rooted to the spot. Standing close enough to notice his breathing becoming faster "Why?" she asks in a tiny voice, almost afraid to hear his answer.

"Because I'm still in love with you!" The words died on his lips and their eyes both widened at the sound of them.

Jess took a deep breath and brushed the hair off her face. She felt unexpectedly flushed. Swallowing hard she bought her gaze to meet his. "Why are you telling me this now?" She was white as a sheet and visibly shaken at his revelation "You never said a word. Not a word. All the chances you've had to tell me before now and you never gave the slightest clue that this was still how you felt, Nick." She swiped at the tears stinging her eyes "Why now? Why _today_?"

"I was going to tell you when it mattered." Nick sounded pained by his admission "And, my god, it matters. We both know I'm not usually great with saying how I feel. But I'm standing here right now, Jess, and I'm telling you - he'll _never_ love you like I can..."

She let out a little cry from deep in her stomach upon hearing those last six words.

"...I never stopped loving you, Jessica. It never went away. I just buried it beneath drink and work and stupid relationships because it hurt too much to deal with it. Losing you is the hardest thing I have ever experienced and I closed myself off from everything because, honestly, it almost broke me. I don't think I can go through that again seeing you walk down the aisle to someone else. When Sam proposed to you, I literally felt like my heart had shattered inside my chest. All I could think as I saw you standing there saying 'yes' to him was ' _that should have been me_ '. _I_ should have been the guy down on one knee. _I_ should have told you how I felt months ago, Jess, but I just couldn't find the words."

The silence in the room was deafening and the tension palpable. Jess had a look across her face that straddled anguish and fury. She closed her eyes and put her head in her hands, groaning. Her head was a mess.

"What are you doing, Nick?" She said, quietly, genuinely not sure what was happening right now. He had blindsided her completely. Of course she still had feelings for him. Of course she did...Jess didn't think they would ever really go away, but she was meant to be getting married to Sam _tomorrow._ This was typical of him. Leaving everything to this last minute - just like that god damned gift he never built for the birthday party that turned out to be the catalyst for their ending as a couple.

He stood beside her, fingers twitching and desperate to reach for her hand, but thinking better of it as he sensed her body tense up beside him. Nick took a deep breath then sighed and took a step forward. Her eyes followed him as he walked back towards the door.

"Where are you going, Nick? You can't just say all that to me and walk out! What am I supposed to do now?! I'm meant to be getting _married_ tomorrow!"

"I'm sorry, Jess. I know that i'm selfish, and the timing is awful, and I wouldn't blame you one bit if you tell me that it's too late, that I missed my chance. But I can't let myself walk out of this room without telling you that I love you, Jessica Day, with every god damn fibre of my being. I love you so much that thinking of a life ahead of me without you nearly brings me to my fucking knees. It physically hurts."

They stared at each other, each too afraid to move or speak another word. In the end it was Nick who broke the stand off, turning the door handle and slowly slipping out of her room.


	4. Chapter 4

"Here Comes The Rain"

'Here comes the rain, no need to hide/I know the sun shines on the other side/Oh, let the storm roll over me/Tear down these walls once and for all/And set me free...'

Having not seen or heard from Jess for a week since telling her how he felt, Nick was at the coach station heading to the airport to go visit his family in Chicago. The space would do him good, or so he told himself. Truth was he was going out of his mind wondering if he'd ruined things forever with Jess by spilling his guts that night. He'd retreated to his bedroom, refusing to leave apart from absolutely necessary trips for food, water and bathroom breaks. All his energy was focused on finishing his Pepperwood Chronicles novel. Every waking moment he had was spent writing. If he was writing, then he wasn't thinking about Jess. And if he wasn't thinking about Jess, his stomach didn't knot in a way that made him want to throw up.

Bag slung over his shoulder, Nick looked at his ticket stepped outside into the dark of the night to get his coach. The breath left his lungs in one fell swoop.

Jess.

Standing there, alone, waiting for him in the pouring rain.

Drenched through, hair loose and clinging to her shoulders. Her eyes were big and scared, mascara streaks marking her cheeks through a mixture of her own tears and the lashing precipitation.

"Jess? What are you doing here? How did you...?" He shook his head, confused.

"Winston cracked and told me where you where. He's so easy to break down, it's embarrassing" she sniffed and gave a little chuckle before her faced turned serious again and she spoke quietly "I didn't marry Sam..."

Nick already knew this, of course. The others had given him a painfully detailed account of how Jess had broken things off with Dr Sam that same night. Of how Joan had sobbed when she heard she was no longer going to be Mother of the Bride the next day. Of how Jess wouldn't tell any of them why she'd done it.

"I'm sorry" was all Nick could offer.

He knew it was his fault. He knew telling her what he did meant there was no going back for either of them, but he hadn't known where to go from here. So he decided to go to Chicago instead. Running away, as always. Too chicken shit to stay and face the destruction of his own making. Before leaving that morning, he'd left a copy of his book wrapped as a gift for Jess and asked Winston to make sure it got to her. It was only now that he realised she was holding it up in her hands. His book. She had actually read his book.

"This...is amazing" Jess said, swallowing hard before looking him in the eye and asking in a voice cracking with emotion "It's about me, right? It's about you...and it's about me?"

"It's always been about you, Jess" Nick stepped forward and kissed her before she could say another word. Bodies instinctively holding each other the same way they used to. As if nothing had changed and they had never been apart. They stayed that way for a moment, drinking in the taste of each other like it was the first time their lips had ever touched, before he pulled her to his chest and led her back to the shelter of the station behind him.

Once inside, Jess began to shiver. A mix of adrenaline and her cold, wet clothes.

"Jess, you're soaked through"

"I'll be ok" she lied, teeth chattering

"Here, I have dry clothes in my bag. Not the most attractive attire I'm afraid but it's better than nothing. Here..." he grabbed a pair of his cargo shorts and a red flannel button down and passed them to Jess, steering her in the direction of the bathrooms.

"I'll wait right here" he reassured her, and stood just outside.

When ten minutes passed and she hadn't returned, Nick opened the door just a crack and called in to her.

"Jessica? What's the hold up?"

"I'm stuck!"

"You're what?!"

"My _zipper_ is stuck. On my skirt. Can you help me?"

"It's the ladies bathroom, Jess!"

"There's no one else in here! Plus the waiting room is deserted, so I think we'll be OK. It's just for a moment, I need another pair of hands." she pleaded, so of course he relented.

He squeezed into the stall next to her, shaking his head and looking dazed as he saw her stood in his half buttoned up flannel shirt showing off her cleavage cupped perfectly in a baby pink bra and her little skirt. He dutifully tried but failed to get the zipper down.

"It's no use" he frowns "I'm gonna have to just...yank it off."

"Nick! You can't do that! You'll rip it!"

"Fine, I'll be gentle..." he smirked, holding her stare and feeling a surge of electricity between them as he shifted closer in the tight space of the cubicle, running a hand up the soft skin of her thigh and making her giggle. He slowly tugged her skirt down over her legs not breaking her gaze for a single moment. Gripping her by the hips, Nick held her close to him and dipped his head to the exposed skin of her chest. His tongue running over her bare collarbone caused her to let out a little moan. He nipped and kissed up her neck and she ran her fingers through the hair on the back of his head the way he used to love. The feeling caused memories to come flooding back to him in a rush. Suddenly, he rested his forehead against her shoulder, breathing hard but not moving.

"Nick? Nick, are you ok?" She stroked his stubble covered cheek and he lifted his head to look at her. When he spoke, the words were choked "I just never thought I would get to touch you like this again, Jess. To hold you, kiss you like I wanted, hell - like I _needed_...I can't believe we're finally back here"

"Believe it, Miller" She breathed as she crashed her lips to his, kissing him hot and wet and heavy.

His hands moved down to cup her ass, lifting her up so her legs hooked around his waist and he leaned them hard against one side of the stall. Jess braced her feet against the other side to steady them, already feeling light headed from the way he was kissing her - like he hadn't eaten for days and had just been served a three course meal. He was devouring her and it was _Hot. As. Hell_.

His hand moved across her waist and was tracing circles over her panties with his thumb, making her tremble in anticipation before he hooked two fingers under the waistband and moved them up inside her, catching her off guard. Her eyes slammed shut and her mouth dropped open as she whimpered "Ohhhh God!" Jess dug her nails into his shoulders, spurring him on as he worked them in and out, fast then slow, hard then soft. It was just about the most glorious torture she'd ever experienced.

"Nick...I...I...you..." she couldn't form a coherent sentence so instead reached a hand down to the bulge in the crotch of his pants and stroked him eagerly, drawing a low growl from his throat. Together they managed to swiftly unbutton his jeans and push his boxers down to free him. Jess gripped him firmly, still pinned against the stall by his body, and his eyes nearly rolled back in his head as she pulled her underwear to one side and bought him to her. Tantalisingly close, teasing him as she slid him up and down her wetness making them both gasp before allowing him to thrust hard inside her. His legs nearly buckled at the sensation. Jess started to moan as he pumped again and again, the feeling beginning to overtake her.

"Shhhh!" Nick laughed, covering her lips with his to stifle the sounds. She groaned into his open mouth and the reverberations sent a shiver to his core.

She orgasmed around him so hard and fast she almost thought she would pass out. As her whole body shuddered against him, he released inside her with such force it took his breath away. The surge of love between them was so strong, so intense, it was the purest form of ecstasy they had ever felt in their lives. No longer caring if anyone was around to hear, they cried out loud in pleasure simultaneously.

A voice from outside called "Is everything ok in there, dear? Are you alright?"

Stifling a laugh, Jess answered breathily "I'm good, we're good...thanks!"

"I think I just had my first out of body experience!" Nick mumbled in to her hair, and they both dissolved into a fit of giggles.


	5. Chapter 5

"I'm Yours"

'I may not have the softest touch/I may not say the words as such/And though I may not look like much/I'm yours/And though my edges may be rough/I never feel I'm quite enough /It may not seem like very much/But I'm yours...'

6 months later:

Nick and Jess had been out for dinner to celebrate 6 months since getting back together. It was his suggestion, which Jess found unusual, but he was insistent so she happily agreed. She wore a gorgeously tight, knee length red dress that made him bite a lip and raise a brow as she walked out of her room, and he was looking fine as anything in a pale grey suit with waist coat and tie.

On their way back to the loft afterwards, he could hardly keep his hands off of her. Taking the chance in the elevator to pull her to him and slide a hand up the bottom of her dress making her laugh and give him a playful slap on the arm. As they reached the door Nick turned and instructed her to wait where she was, close her eyes, count to 30, then open them and follow him in.

Although confused, Jess did as she was told, then slowly pushed the door open to reveal a darkened loft lit only by the soft glow of a candle pathway leading to her bedroom. She walked in, holding her breath at the mesmerising sight of the flickering flames lighting her route and when she reached her door, peered inside to see Nick stood at a clearing by her window, a large heart drawn on the floor in tea lights with him standing inside it holding a single red rose.

"Happy 6 month reunion...anniversary...thing!" He said with a wonky smile and a sheepish little shrug.

"Nick! Oh my god, this is beautiful!" She whispered "I love it! Thank you..." Pausing for a second before continuing "but...why are we in my room and not in the living area where there's more space?" she tilted her head with a questioning gaze as she took his outstretched hand and stepped into the candle heart next to him.

"Because, Jessica, _this_ is where I was standing when I first laid eyes on you. Which means it will always be my favourite place in the world." he beamed at her and she reached her hands up around his neck, pulling him down to meet her lips.

"Now, would you care to dance, m'lady?" Nick broke away and clicked the CD player on. They both laughed as 'Groovy Kind of Love' played out and filled the room.

As the song came to an end, they stood still for a moment, hands still entwined and her head laid tenderly on his chest as she listened to his heartbeat quicken. He looked down at her and stepped back. She frowned at the loss of contact then noticed the sudden fear flash in his eyes. Nick was barely able to stop himself shaking as he slowly lowered one knee to the ground. She covered her mouth with her hands and gasped, eyes filled with tears as she saw him duck his head, take a big breath and reach into his back pocket before presenting to her the most beautiful vintage engagement ring.

"Nick...what...? Are you serious?!"

He looked up at her, with more love in his eyes than she had ever seen before. Blinking back the tears that were threatening to spill on to his cheeks, he swallowed hard and cleared his throat as he began to speak.

"Jess, since the day I met you, I knew my life was never going to be the same again. You changed me, permanently. I fell in love with you the moment you walked through the door and...and I can't imagine spending my life with any one else. I've never been the best at believing in myself, but you've always believed in me enough for the both of us. On paper, we should never work but, somehow...we do. You're my best friend and I love everything about you. Sometimes I just can't believe my luck that you're with me. You are so perfectly unique - they broke the mould when they made you, Jessica Day. So, here I am, down on one knee, to tell you that I will _never_ stop loving you until the day that I die. I know I'm just a rough around the edges kinda guy, nothing special to write home about, but... _I'm yours_ , Jess. If you'll have me. Please...please say you'll make me the happiest guy on the face of the earth by being my wife?"

She stood silent, rendered speechless by the beautiful words he had just poured out to her. "Yes..." she replied in a barely audible whisper, sniffing and wiping her flowing tears away with the back of her free hand.

"Yes?" he asked, not 100% sure he'd heard her correctly and thinking he might just die there on the spot if he'd heard wrong.

"YES!" Jess yelled, pulling him up to his feet so she could kiss him senseless "Yes! Yes! A thousand times, YES! Oh my god!" she squealed as he hooked his arms around her waist and lifted her feet from the floor, spinning them both around in unadulterated joy.

Laying next to him on her bed later that night, she played with the hair on his chest absentmindedly as he tangled her curls around his fingers.

"How did you even manage to set this all up by yourself, Nick? That was some feat!"

"I had some help!" he laughed "you think I could light all those candles by myself in 30 seconds?! I called Schmidt when we were leaving the restaurant so he and Cece could let themselves in and set the candles up for me..."

She smiled against the crook of his neck where her head was nuzzled and sighed "You're going to make a wonderful husband, Nicholas Miller"

He propped himself up on his elbow, turning to lean over her with a massive grin on his face.

"I love you"

"I love you more" she giggled, tracing her fingers up his bare arms.

Lowering himself down so his nose was touching hers, he kissed her once slowly, deeply, before pulling back, looking deep in her eyes and whispering

"Trust me, Jessica, that's just not possible..."

 ***A/N:**

 **THANK YOU FOR READING! I hope you enjoyed this little story. It popped into my head and practically wrote itself. I really value feedback so please do review and let me know what you thought.**

 **FUN FACT: The proposal in this story is actually based on how my husband proposed to me!**


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